The Tucker Conundrum
by brightsparx
Summary: So after season 17, I've lost my mind...as much as there are some great Tuckson fics out there, I hate the pairing...I'm shipping Barson to the death, so here's my suggestion for the opening of season 18! It's totally crackfic and anti-Tuckson. It was written as a release valve for all my Tuckson issues, and is meant as a laugh...
1. The Tucker Fucker

" _God! Seriously!? I nearly lost my lunch..."_ Fin grumbles, as Captain Tucker of IAB, makes his last goodbye to his latest squeeze...

" _Seriously it's unnatural! The rat squad being welcomed in here...!?"_ he continues...

" _Fin! Quit it!"_ Rollins hisses at her partner...

" _Are you seriously telling me you don't want to puke, every time you see her with_ _ **him**_ _?"_ he questions her, his irritation all too clear, in the tone of his voice...

Amanda tries to fix him with a disapproving stare, but as always, her partner just ignores it...

" _ **I**_ _try not to make judgments on my colleagues' personal lives, Fin!"_ she tells him...sharply...

" _Well you would say that! Since you still haven't coughed up who Jessie's dad is...and it's worth telling you that the odds are shifting from Amaro, to Carisi being the baby-daddy!"_

" _They're what?"_ Amanda roars, as all concern about the occupant of the office hearing their conversation is forgotten...

" _C'mon!?"_ Fin says, _"You can't honestly be trying to feign indignation! After all the time you spend with him..."_

" _ **You**_ _are seriously telling me that you think Carisi is Jessie's father? Well thanks a lot PARTNER! Good to know you have my back!"_

" _Hey! I didn't say that was where I put my money...and for the record nah, I don't think the kid is Carisi's! And you know I always have your back...that's why I haven't asked..."_

The comment alone, makes it very clear that he would be interested in the answer, but when Rollins just sulkily glares back at him, he chooses to let it go...in the interest of something much more pressing...

" _Fine! But you never answered the original question...does Liv and the 'Rat-King' not make you sick?"_

She debates not answering Fin's question, but she recognizes the threat that her partner will turn the conversation back on her if she doesn't participate...

" _Well it's not a pairing I would have considered..."_ she says, trying really hard, to be diplomatic...even though her and Carisi have spend whole evenings wondering what on earth attracts their stunning Lieutenant to the okay- **ish** looking, but charmless, and very dull, IAB man...

Fin is still muttering away to himself about the inequality of the partnership, as Carisi comes bounding back into the squad...

" _What do_ _ **you**_ _make of Liv and the 'Rat-King'?"_ Fin asks Carisi, seemingly desperate for someone willing to bemoan his friend's appalling taste in men, with him...

Carisi is happy to be asked for his opinion, and sets about telling Fin how _"freaky"_ the relationship is...

" _I mean seriously...what does she see in him?"_ Carisi agrees with Fin...

" _Yeah...right? And you know he not only went after Amaro, but he went after her old partner and even, Liv, on more than one occasion...?"_ Fin adds...

" _What?"_ Carisi sputters in shock...

Fin having forgotten the child-cop had missed so much...rolls his eyes...

" _Oh yeah, it's been common knowledge for years that Tucker had a serious hard-on for SVU..."_ He then realizes his choice of words and chuckles...Fin never one to let a smart ass comment pass him by, continues undeterred... _"Well we didn't realize it was that type of 'hard-on'...who knew he was even capable of it? I thought the rats were all engineered to be immune to sex...probably just as well, cos who in their right mind would touch em? Right?"_

Amanda feels the need to try to defend Liv a little... _"Hey, maybe he's really different outside of work...?"_

Both Carisi and Fin look at her like she's crazy...as Barba strides in the door...

" _Counselor!"_ Fin shouts, calling the frowning man over... _"Please tell me you're with me, on Liv and the 'Rat-King'?"  
_

For a moment, Barba looks baffled...

" _What?"_ he demands, his irritation going even beyond his usual base level...but Fin doesn't seem bothered by the prickly lawyer...

" _Jesus Barba! Liv and Tucker?"_

The lawyer's face clouds over immediately with anger, and Fin knows he has the perfect partner to bitch about Liv's latest, in the parade of her ever increasingly, rotten taste, in men...

Fin can see the DA needs a last little push, to let his feelings on the subject rip...

" _I don't even want to consider her fucking him?"_ he says, with a groan, calculating the mental image of that, will be enough to shake loose the lawyer's acerbic wit...

That does it! Barba seems to let go of his usual care in choosing his words...

" _Are you kidding me!? Is there someone here who isn't appalled by Liv and the Tucker Fucker?"_ He looks around the room...furiously...

" _Besides I doubt we have to worry about her fucking him...I doubt he could get_ _ **it**_ _up! In fact I'm pretty sure Liv just got confused by the fact that Tucker_ _ **is**_ _a massive dick! She misheard it and thought someone said he_ _ **had**_ _a massive dick!"_

Fin is almost rolling in his chair... _"Barba man, finally someone who gets it!"_

" _I mean, I'm aware that her taste in men, has previously been suspect...but for fucks sake!"_ Barba groans...

" _Yeah I mean Cassidy was a shocker...I was always baffled it lasted so long...but then I suppose the circumstances after Lew..."_ Barba shoots Fin a death stare, instantly cutting him off...both men knew where that sentence was going...

" _Yeah..."_ Fin relents quietly, seeing the fury and guilt in the other man's eyes...

" _And that's not all of it..."_ Barba teases cryptically...

Fin sizes up the man before him... _"No it isn't..."_ he agrees, the two of them rolling their eyes...

Carisi now can't help himself... _"Who else?"_ he asks looking between the two men, and then over to Amanda, when neither are forthcoming...

Amanda's interest is piqued too... _"Who?"_ she asks softly, her head sorting through the possibilities; surely it wasn't Nick, was it? He would have told her...or Declan! No, again he would have told her, especially after Jessie...but then again, she has a child by a colleague that she still hasn't told anyone about...Maybe she shouldn't be throwing stones?...But the question is too fascinating to drop, even if she won't admit it out loud...It couldn't be Mini-Dodds...cos the boys are talking seriously past tense...God! It couldn't be Daddy Dodds? Could it? Nah, Tucker wouldn't be quite such a shocker after that...

But Fin and Barba are both shaking their heads...Fin miming locking his lips...and throwing away the key...

Rollins makes a mental note to follow up with her partner at a later date...

" _The Tucker Fucker...I really like that..."_ Carisi mutters...

Fin nods his approval too...

Even Amanda has to grudgingly smile at the new moniker...

" _What the fuck is going on with her, that she has picked Tucker?"_ Barba continues to question...

" _Fuck knows!"_ Fin adds... _"All I know is it's getting close to intervention time..."_

" _Too right!"_ the aggravated lawyer mutters... _"She's gorgeous...and thoroughly incredible...she could have anyone...and there she is slumming it with that **tool**!"_

Now that Barba is on-board, Amanda has given up pretending to have no opinion... _"I mean, I get that maybe her confidence is low...after all that happened...but not that low...?"_

Fin nods eagerly but Barba seems to be considering it carefully...

" _Do you really think it could possibly be that!?"_ the lawyer asks...

Amanda shrugs her shoulders... _"Could be..."_

" _Does that explain you and Carisi too?"_ Barba asks thoughtfully, as Fin bursts out laughing...

" _Fucks sake! I am not_ _ **doing**_ _Carisi! We are friends! Like you are one to talk Barba! Until the Tucker Fucker arrived on the scene, all the smart money was on you and Liv **finally** getting it together!" _ Amanda thunders!

Now it's Barba's turn to look shocked... _"What? Me and Liv?"_

He looks around him as one by one, the detectives all nod...

For once the man, who has an answer to everything, is rendered silent! Shaking his head weakly as a denial...

Fin leans back in his chair, quietly studying the man before him...

" _We were a bit freaked out at first by the idea, but I guess it grew on us..."_ Fin adds... _"And now, faced with the Tucker Fucker...well you seem like the ideal man..."_

Barba is still silent...

" _Even_ _ **I**_ _'ve noticed how you look at her..."_ Carisi piles on...

" _How come you and Liv_ _ **aren't**_ _together?"_ Amanda asks... _"There's clearly something there...did you try, and it didn't work?"_

Now all the detectives are anxiously awaiting Barba's answer...

The lawyer just shakes his head when he realizes there is no way out of this conversation...as he starts his customary strip...discarding the jacket and tie, opening his vest and rolling up his shirt sleeves...

Rollins runs an appreciative eye up his body, paying special attention to his butt, as he leans over to throw his clothes over the briefcase between his feet...

" _I mean you're a good looking guy...not my taste...but you and Liv have a chemistry..."_ she mumbles...

" _Definitely a good looking guy..."_ Carisi echoes as Fin rolls his eyes at younger man...

" _Yeah we all know what you think...put your tongue back in your mouth Carisi!"_ Fin barks...

" _What!?"_ Carisi mutters red faced...

" _Maybe I wasn't wrong..."_ Fin says looking from the lawyer to the closed office... _"Nah, I can't sit back and watch it anymore...the Tucker Fucker has to go...We need to stage an intervention!_


	2. Intervention: Ditch that fucker!

" _Yep that's it! An intervention...who is with me?"_ Fin asks the small group, but his eyes never leave the lawyer...

They all nod their assent, none of them able to stomach another stilted, chemistry-less, awkward, goodbye like the one they had just been forced to witness...

Again it is the DA that Fin concentrates on, _"And we're all willing to brave Liv's anger!?"_

Again, the small assembly nod...it is after all, in her best interest...

" _You willing to do what it takes Barba?"_ he asks the final question of the lawyer alone...

" _Put it this way, if she ever considered marrying the Tucker Fucker, I'd marry her myself!"_ Barba huffs...

" _Good enough!"_ Fin exclaims...unlike the other two, he's not surprised, he's noticed that Barba doesn't only lust after Liv...sure, he never misses an opportunity to watch her, or touch her...but there's more there...and Fin's got a plan!

" _Liv!"_ Fin roars as he tips his chair back on two legs, _"Liv!"_

The others are slightly shocked at the man's brazen-ness, but Fin has been her friend for so long, he has half a chance of living through this madness...

The Lieutenant appears in her office door, pulling her glasses off, as she faces the small group...

" _Jesus! Fin! What's the problem?"_ Liv asks...

" _Fuck Liv, you're getting grumpier by the day!"_ he counters at her, _"You clearly need to get laid!"_

As Fin says this, Barba, Rollins and Carisi are starting to have second thoughts...Liv looks like she may go nuclear any second...

" _What? Fin!"_ she rumbles angrily...looking about ready to rip his head off.

" _So, **can** the Tucker Fucker get __**it**_ _up?"_ Fin persists...

" _Excuse me?"_ Liv bellows... _"My personal life is none of your business Fin! None of any of your business..."_ she adds for the whole group...

" _Yeah well, things have gone too far! You're like my sister Liv...and much as I don't wanna think of you getting fucked by anyone, the Tucker Fucker has got to go..."_ Fin tells her

Liv can only look at him slack jawed...Fin was never shy, he often commented, usually negatively, on her boyfriends, but this is an all new level, of kick-in-the-face- blunt...

" _We're your friends, and we're staging an intervention!"_ he announces calmly...continuing where he left off...

Barba seems to find some 'cajones', all of a sudden... _"It's too grotesque Liv...you are way too good for_ _ **him**_ _"_

Amanda and Carisi nod, unable to speak for the shock...but it is them that Liv turns her ire towards...

" _You two?! You two are judging_ _ **me**_ _? How long have you two been banging away?"_

Amanda loses her cool too... _"I'm not fucking Carisi! But_ _ **anyone**_ _would be better than Tucker!"_

She looks to the cop beside her, _"No offence Carisi!"_

He shrugs his shoulders...

" _And at least Carisi wouldn't have to pull the stick out of his ass to have something to fuck you with, like Tucker does...!"_ Amanda shouts back...

Fin does a double take, making a mental note to come back to that later...shaking it off quickly, **for now**...

" _What is it Liv? What the fuck has_ _ **you**_ _with the_ _ **Rat-King**_ _?"_ he asks her...

" _He's a nice man! Fin, you have never given him a chance!"_ Liv tries...

" _Jesus Liv! So that means you talk to him at the coffee machine, or in the elevator, you don't take him home to bed!"_ Barba yells...

Olivia glares at him, her anger simmering visibly...

The lawyer steps right up to her, _"Does he make you cum? Does he fuck you until you are satisfied? Does he tell you how you are the most beautiful woman he has ever seen?"_ his voice drops even lower, his eyes not leaving hers, _"Does he put_ _ **your**_ _sexual needs ahead of_ _ **his**_ _own?...because that is the very least you deserve!"_

Now, it is Olivia who is rendered mute...

" _You are way too gorgeous to be with Tucker, Liv"_ Fin adds...

" _I'm a 50 year old single mother, to a boisterous toddler, running a busy squad..."_ Liv starts to explain...

" _Yeah which you nearly lost because of Tucker..."_ Fin announces...

" _And what kind of fool is not shouting from the rooftops, that he's with you? Instead the secret he's keeping nearly gets you thrown out of SVU..."_ Barba comments...

" _Yeah, but you were the one who told 1PP...!"_ Liv hisses...

" _I did...and I was right! It may have saved your career, that they found out from me, that I told them you declared the relationship...so be pissy with me if that makes you happier! But ditch the Tucker Fucker...!"_ Barba moans

" _A woman in my position has to be realistic about her potential partners..."_ Liv taunts... _"There's no one else banging down my door! I hadn't even really been on a date since Cassidy..."_

" _Great! Another prime example of your appalling taste in men! Do tell more..."_ The lawyer bemoans, rolling his eyes...

" _Barba! You can't talk! When was the last time_ _ **you**_ _had a girlfriend? Or the last time_ _ **you**_ _got laid?"_ Olivia roars back, trying to turn the conversation back on the man standing toe to toe with her, as always...both of them beginning to forget their shocked audience...

" _Too long!"_ he shouts back, _"But_ _ **I'm**_ _not willing to lower my standards..._ _ **my**_ _squad,_ _ **my**_ _friends aren't holding an intervention, to break_ _ **me**_ _up from yet another, totally inappropriate dalliance!"_

" _Dalliance? Another inappropriate_ _ **dalliance**_ _? Who the fuck do you think you are Barba? I'm pretty sure_ _ **you**_ _shouldn't be so quick to pass comment on other people not being able to get_ _ **it**_ _up!"_

" _So, he can't get_ _ **it**_ _up?"_ Barba confirms gleefully...

" _I never said that!"_ a flustered Liv tries to recover...

" _Yes you did!"_ Barba yells right in her face... _"The Tucker Fucker can't even get_ _ **it**_ _up!"_

" _I wouldn't take such glee in it, if I were you...when's the last time you were able to get_ _ **it**_ _up?"_ she asks, allowing her eye to roam down his body for emphasis...

" _You don't think I can get_ _ **it**_ _up? Trust me, getting_ _ **it**_ _up is no problem...!"_

He grabs her hand, dragging it down to his crotch before she can pull away... _"See?"_ he says triumphantly, the word trailing off to a strangled groan as her hand, under his direction, brushes against his developing erection...

Her mouth drops open, as she steps back quickly, pulling her hand away...

Fin doesn't even bother to conceal his evaluating glance...

" _Well, I can tell you from here, that Barba doesn't seem to have a problem getting_ _ **it**_ _up!"_ Fin chuckles...

Carisi's eyes immediately move down, assessing the hardness tenting Barba's perfectly tailored trousers...

Amanda rolls her eyes, in disgust, but can't resist a quick glance too...

As always, Fin doesn't stop...when there is further he could go... _"See! We reckon you got confused by Tucker_ _ **being**_ _a huge dick...it doesn't mean he_ _ **has**_ _a huge dick"..._

Even though the comment was recycled from earlier, it gets a chuckle...maybe the chuckle has more to do with the clearly, **large** protuberance, in Barba's pants...

" _Barba has no problem getting hard...and does seem to_ _ **have**_ _quite a large dick..."_ Fin leaves the last words hanging in the air...

" _Ditch the Tucker Fucker!"_ Barba entreats softly... _"Ditch him, and let me show you how you should be fucked..."_

His voice is husky and throaty...his arousal clear, in more than just his pants...

" _So you think one orgasm is gonna hold me over for life?"_ Liv tries to add breezily...

" _Your standards are that low?"_ Barba asks quickly... _"It should never be, only one orgasm? Christ, has the Tucker Fucker not even got fingers? Or a tongue?"_

" _Liv, what have you been doing with that man?"_ Amanda asks shocked...swallowing deeply, at Barba's impressive show...

Shooting Rollins a look that could kill, Liv looks back to Barba...

" _So what? I'm supposed to fall at your feet? My underwear at my ankles?"_ she asks icily, sarcasm dripping off each word... _"Not going to happen...!"_

Her voice isn't quite as confident as her words though, she is struggling...the man in front of her, has always affected her...he has always been a subject of desire for her...but she can not, will not, allow everyone to know how much she wants to do exactly as she has just refused to...

The Tucker Fucker, as they have all started calling him, was a mistake...she even figured that out, not long after the first dates...but it wasn't like she had any other options...she was, as she told these people, a 50 year old woman with a demanding job and home life...Ed was good to her...He accepted that she had a toddler at home and what often feels like, a bunch of kids, to control at work...Sure he doesn't make her insides melt...but she's too old for to still be believing in, and craving that rubbish anyways!

She won't admit it now, but Ed **was** a disappointment to her in the bedroom...the guys assertion that he couldn't get **it** up, wasn't that far from the truth...But that's something a lot of guys struggle with as they get older, isn't it? He would start to harden as they kissed...playing with each other...and when she would take him into her mouth, his manhood would slowly come to life...sure he wasn't huge, but size isn't everything...

He wasn't particularly skilled at foreplay, his touches slightly awkward, his dislike for stimulating her, barely concealed, as he went through the motions...rubbing her, with little dexterity, expertise, or interest...until she pulled him away, signaling that she was ready for him...It was then that the real problems started, he could never hold the erection they had worked for, long enough to even begin to satisfy her...

She felt like it was her fault...like she didn't appeal to him enough, like she wasn't attractive enough...

And then once his erection shrank away, they both pulled apart, frustrated, embarrassed and humiliated...

She is battling to keep her mind from launching another of the fantasies that are the only thing that have kept her from going crazy...it has been so long, too long, since she has been really sexually satisfied, by anything other than her own hand or a toy...and even then, the orgasms she has brought herself, feel much more like appetizers, than the main course...something to tide her over...rather than truly satisfy her appetite...

She won't be the one to back down now though!

But as she stands toe to toe with the man who has featured so prominently in many of her fantasies...it is hard not to allow her mind to wander...

She can't pretend she has never looked at him before, so she is not surprised that he seems...large...but...  
" _hmmmmmmmm"_

" _What was that Liv?_ He asks smirking slightly...

" _Are you still waiting for me to fall at your feet?"_ she repeats, recovering quickly...

" _No!"_ he responds confidently... _"I've wasted too much time already..._ _ **I**_ _'ll gladly fall at_ _ **your**_ _feet! And,_ _ **I**_ _'d much rather take off your underwear in my own time..."_ he raises his eyebrow questioningly...

It takes everything she has, to not jump him right there, as she feels her entire body respond to him...

" _Liv"_ Fin interjects, reminding her that the whole squad is still there...watching... _"C'mon! You have to admit that dating the Rat-King was a mistake...there's no chemistry there!?"_

" _Even if that were true, Fin, I wouldn't_ _ **cheat**_ _on him..."_ Liv mutters...

Fin's whole face lights up with this step forward...

" _No Liv...you wouldn't...so tell him it's all over...Here borrow my phone!...And sex-orcise his ghost!"_

Her mouth falls open... _"_ _ **Sex-orcise**_ _?"_

Fin nods back at her.

" _Yep! Exorcise the ghosts of an ex, with sex...a 'Fucks-orcism' if you will..."_

Olivia looks around the room, as none of the other detectives seem surprised by this idea...

" _It works..."_ Amanda says wistfully... thinking back to when she fell into bed with her baby-daddy...she had been pining for Nick ...for him and for the great sex they used to have...and God! Did Murphy know how to make her forget him?!

" _It's not like there's no chemistry between you and Barba anyway..."_ Carisi says, earning a dagger look from Liv...

" _We all thought that there was something going on between you and Barba, until we learned about Tucker anyway..."_ Amanda says as further reason why she should stop fighting it...

Liv is beginning to consider doing exactly what she refused to...as Barba continues to stand before her, the bulge in his pants almost touching her...

God! He is hot...for someone who is always so buttoned up, she thinks there is a wild man hiding in the shadows...hints of him sneaking out in the way he throws the buttoned up suit aside at every opportunity, stripping off the jacket, the tie, opening his vest...just like he has done now...

As appealing as he is in his beautiful suits, he is just pure sex, when he is undone like this...and that's without the obvious swelling of his erection reaching towards her...

She can't be the one to fold though...

She needs him, to be the one to give...

Just like in all those squabbles with him, she so loves, there has to be some give in him too...

" _C'mon Liv..."_ Barba growls, _"Let me exorcise the Tucker demons?"_

He takes a small step forward, his feet either side of Liv's right foot...his erection nestled against her hip...his hand, just above, on her waist...

Despite all her resolve, she finds her body moves without any input from her brain...her hips roll into him...

It has been **so long...** too long...

His hands reach up to her face, cupping it gently...as he leans forward...his lips meeting hers...his tongue pressing against her lips until she allows him in...

His tongue stroking hers makes her think of how else he could use that tongue on her... ' _he has always been so good with that mouth...how could he not be skilled?...'_ she asks herself...

 **A/N So quick Q...how many people are running, desperately freaked out, to wash their eyes, in the hopes they can forget my madness? or how many of you would be quite happy to imagine and read about a sexy Barba?**

 **Thank you so much to BenoightLangson for the follow and favourite, to CharlieGrace for the follow, to MCervera for the follow and favourite and MrsChilton for the follow and favourite.**

 **Guest: Thank you for the review...it was slight madness but it made me laugh...hope it continues to make you laugh...**

 **MrsChilton: Thanks...I'm evil but it really needed out of my head...**

 **BenoightLangson; Well i've already admitted to my Barson love, but I'm guessing you prefer Liv and Hank? I can kindda see that...if the idea of Barba freaks you out you could imagine someone else, but I think Tucker is actually worse than Daddy Dodds! Not by much admittedly but...yuck! Thanks for encouraging my madness! Hope I've not upset you too much with the turn...**


	3. Sex-orcism

**A/N Ok, so don't judge too harshly about Barba** **wouldn't, or Liv wouldn't...stick with me! There's only one more chapter and all will be explained...just go with it for now...**

Barba's hands reach up to her face, cupping it gently...as he leans forward...his lips meeting hers...his tongue pressing against her lips until she allows him in...

His tongue stroking hers makes her think of how else he could use that tongue on her... ' _he has always been so good with that mouth...how could he not be skilled?...'_ she asks herself...

Fin clears his throat gently, to remind the pair of their surroundings...

" _I'm very happy you're going to sex-orcise Tucker out of your life Liv...but I don't need to see it happen!"_ he adds chuckling...

Barba takes the subtle hint, leading Liv into her office by the hand...

Since it is long gone dark, the blinds are already drawn on the windows, the only ones still open are the ones over looking the squad room and he quickly pulls them...

Fin shuffles in his chair, trying to get comfortable...but decides he has more urgent business at home, when nothing is calming his own desires...

As he grabs his keys, he looks to Carisi who is still standing, looking at the office...

" _I'm out of here kid! I'm pretty sure he doesn't need you to hold his dick for him...!"_ he adds gesturing to the shuttered room...

He looks over to Amanda who seems to be fidgeting in her own chair...

" _I'm sure you'll find something to occupy you...!"_ he says leaving, with a shake of his head...

" _We can't do this Barba..."_ Liv says as he leads her back to her desk... _"Not here...not with the squad outside..."_

But she recognizes the look of determination on his face as he hands her phone to her...

" _Break it off with **him**!" _ he orders as he carefully moves her framed photos onto the filing cabinet...

He is grateful that her desk is tidy, as he sweeps all the files that remain, to one end...watching her until she has typed and presumably sent the message...then he takes her phone, adding it to the breakables on top of the filing cabinet...

" _I should have done this so long ago..."_ he mutters, using his hips to gently push her back onto her desk...

She spreads her legs immediately, inviting him to get even closer to her...and he is done overthinking...stepping into the space she has created for him quickly...

This time she is the one to initiate the kiss...their tongues dueling, in a very different way to how they so often do, when they squabble...

Her desire is so intense, she has been pushing it down for so long, it just can't be ignored any longer...there is a physical ache between her legs...

She can't help thinking that he must be feeling something similar as he pushes his body against hers...

He doesn't break their kiss, as his hand slips down between them, cupping her gently...using his palm to rub her, pressing lightly against her heat...

When she moans into his mouth, he removes his hand, pulling his face back...unbuttoning her shirt slowly, smirking as he watches her...

" _God Liv...you are gorgeous..."_ he tells her, as his talented tongue explores the flesh he is exposing...

He doesn't even open her bra, instead licking her hard nipples, **through** the light fabric...

She shivers, trying to press her legs together for some relief...

He gently drapes the shirt he takes off her body, over the chair to his left, before he returns his mouth to her chest...his hand once more returning to between her legs...

She presses into his hand, rolling her hips...desperate to feel a little of what she has been denying herself...

He carefully pushes her back, so her legs are off the floor and falls to his knees...

" _I told you...that_ _ **I**_ _would be the one to fall at_ _ **your**_ _feet..."_ he reminds her, lifting her left foot, and unzipping her boot...pulling it and her sock off...placing light kisses on her foot before exchanging it for her right...repeating his actions...

He is driving her crazy...as amazing as this feels, it is not what she has waited so long for...

" _Barba!"_ she demands pulling him back up by his shirt front...

He returns the action, pulling her to him, by her belt... _"I've waited too long for this Liv...to be rushed..."_

This only adds fuel to the fire between her legs and she thrusts her hips against his hardness...

There is no mistaking the groan this earns her...

He pushes her hips back, starting to undo her belt...his movements are confident, precise...but too slow for her, and she goes to push his hands aside...

" _Nuh-uh"_ he mumbles at her, placing her hands on his hips instead...slowly opening the two clips on her pants himself...

She watches him doing it, watches his hand slip into her pants as he pushes the zip down...

She gasps as his fingers seek out her clit through her underwear...and she spreads her legs as much as possible, to allow him access...

His touch alternates between feather light and gently pressing...

She begins to wonder if he could actually make her cum...just like this...as she claims his mouth once more...

His fingers keep moving inside her pants...exploring, testing...until he once more breaks their kiss...

" _They have to go..."_ he tells her as he pulls her pants down her legs...adding them to the chair where her shirt already lies...

He is still fully dressed, and she is only in a bra and underwear...but as his mouth moves back to her bra enclosed breasts, she reaches for her underwear, intending to shove them down, to make him use that tongue on her, where she has been dreaming of feeling it...but he stops her...

" _I told you..._ _ **I**_ _want to take your underwear off you...in my own time..."_ He growls...and she can feel how wet he is making her...

Instead he opens her bra, which she flings across the office, and he takes her nipple, unhindered by fabric now, into his mouth...sucking it, circling it with his tongue, pulling it lightly with his teeth...as his hand returns to between her thighs...frustratingly only playing with her over her panties... But **fuck**! It feels so good...

After lavishing his attention on her breasts, his hands stroking them while his mouth explored...he drops once more to his knees...

This is what she has waited for...to feel his tongue...

But he licks her through her underwear...pressing his tongue against her clit...wriggling it from side to side...

" _More..."_ she groans...wanting him to lose the underwear that is keeping her from his talented tongue.

She can imagine how the same things he had done only moments ago to her nipples, would feel on her even more sensitive clit...but he continues to tease her through her underwear...as his hands roam her body, stroking...

He stands again, and she groans...not wanting to lose the delicious stimulation...

He pulls her head to him, kissing her again...letting her taste herself, on his tongue...

" _You deserve to be adored, to have your incredible body worshipped..."_

This time when he breaks the kiss and drops to his knees, he uses his teeth **and** hands to pull her panties slowly down her legs...kissing his way back up...

When his tongue finally licks her naked folds, she feels like she has been jolted by electricity...and as he uses his tongue to circle her very erect clit, she can't stop her hips moving against him...

She had always wondered, how it would be with them, if they ever made it to the bedroom...would they fight for dominance there, as they do in the rest of life?

She is nobody's submissive! Even though she bears so much responsibility in her everyday life, and she has always liked the idea of a man who could take the lead... she would not be controlled by him...

 **This** , is exactly what she wants...he is happily taking the lead...but not trying to dominate her...

As he begins to really show her what his mouth is capable of, she begins to moan...

" _Barba...we have to be quiet! Everyone is just outside..."_ she pants softly...

" _Are you worried you won't be able to keep quiet Liv?"_ he says, looking up at her with that sexy smirk...

That's exactly what she is worried about! But she's not going to admit it to him!

She has never been particularly vocal during sex, but she has never felt anything quite like what he is doing with his tongue either...maybe it's that rolling Spanish 'rrrrr' that allows him to...

But she can't continue the thought, as his tongue repeats that very action...

His hand comes up to grasp her heaving chest, his fingers circling her nipple lightly, then pinching it gently between his finger and thumb...stroking the whole breast...before turning its attention to the other one...

She is laying back on her own desk, in her office, enjoying having him play with her...when the fingers of his second hand join his mouth...

" _Oh God"_ she cries quietly...

He circles her entrance with his fingers as his mouth sucks on her clit, his tongue circling it in a way she never even considered...then licking up the very sensitive underside...so many men only rub it side to side...but _"oooooooooooh"_

As his fingers continue to tease, she tries to get them inside her...bucking her hips into them...but she can't...

He raises his head from between her spread legs...

" _Tell me what you want Liv...? Tell me what you like?"_ he demands...

" _I want you to put your fingers inside me...and oh god!, keep doing that incredible thing with your tongue..."_ she answers quickly...

He smirks again...as he does what she asks...slipping a finger slowly inside her as his tongue laps at her clit...

" _More!"_ she demands again, breathlessly...

So he continues to surprise her, not just shoving his finger in and out of her as she expected, using his finger to stroke her instead, using his fingertip to stimulate the spots directly, that are usually just brushed passed, inadvertently stimulated by a thrusting toy, finger or penis...

As he finds her most sensitive places, her body jerks...and he moves his tongue down, using his finger to continue to excite her clit...

She finds her hands pushing his head into her, her hips rolling against him, as her body tenses...

" _Oh Yes! Just like that! Yes...OH GOD...!"_ she moans, completely forgetting about wanting to be quiet...as the pressure builds...

When her climax hits, she arches her back up off the table, her body pulsing around his tongue, her toes curling...before she drops back, boneless on the desk, panting...as she tries to push him away...she just can't take anymore...

But he doesn't stop completely...he leaves her sensitive clit alone...but continues to allow his hands to stroke her...raising up from his knees, exploring her more thoroughly...his tongue nipping, sucking, licking all the areas he feels he has neglected so far...

As he leans over her, she can feel his erection still poking into her _... 'god, he must be sore by now'_...she muses... _'_ _ **that**_ _is what I've been missing...'_

As the delicious orgasm wanes, she can't help but consider how patient he has been, lavishing so much attention on her and getting none returned to him...it doesn't escape her notice either, that she hasn't even gotten to sample the talents of the erection she can feel through his trousers, pressing against her sensitive clit...

" _You're very overdressed Counselor..."_ she purrs at him...pulling his arm out of the open vest...

He allows her to remove his vest...and she uses his suspenders to pull him to her, wrapping her legs tightly around his ass...

" _I've wanted to do this for a long time"_ she rumbles sexily, in his ear...opening the buttons of his shirt...

He goes to push the suspenders down but she stops him... _"I want something to hold onto...while I fuck you..."_ she murmurs...

His Adam's apple bobs as he eagerly considers this idea...and she pushes the now open shirt, off his shoulders, tugging it from where it drops behind his back, blocked by the suspenders...

She eyes him up lustily...his large bulge pushing against his pants, the naked torso, with those suspenders...that smirk, and those green eyes darkened by arousal...

She can't help herself as she reaches for his flies...the button and zip take some undoing because of the size of the hardness pushing against them...but she feels the same excitement as he clearly does, as she reaches into the open pants...pulling his manhood out...

The erection sticking out of his underwear is huge...even bigger than she had guessed...and she can't stop herself from licking her lips in anticipation of feeling it filling her...

Her hand reaches out to him, wrapping around his length...pumping him gently...

They both watch her hand moving on him, mesmerized that it is finally happening...

When she ducks down and runs her tongue from his base to his tip, circling the very sensitive tip with her tongue, it is his turn to groan...

" _Nuh-uh!"_ he exclaims, clicking that tongue again... _"I'm not done with you yet...!"_ he tells her _,_ pulling her gently back up, until she is sitting on the desk again...he grabs her hips, dragging her to the edge of the large solid table...kissing her softly...his finger rolling her clit again until she has dropped her head onto his shoulder moaning...

He reaches into his back pocket, digging a condom out of his wallet quickly...

There is no shyness in him as he rolls the latex over his large dick...and she really enjoys watching him handle his appendage...

" _Are you ready for me Liv?"_ he asks rubbing his finger up and down her soaking wet folds...he can feel how wet he has made her...he never stopped stimulating her body, even after her orgasm...he can feel her body is ready for him...that's not what he's asking...

She nods eagerly at him, pulling at his suspenders...trying to pull him into her...

He clicks his tongue, his brow furrowing in disapproval...

She wonders if he knows what these animated, communicative, facial expressions, these uniquely Barba gestures, do to her...what they have always done to her...

He wants her to tell him what she wants again...but more than that, he wants her to tell him how much she wants him...

" _I want you Ba..."_ she starts, but quickly changes her mind, testing out the first name she never uses... _"I want you Rafael! So much...I want to feel your big dick pushing into me...I want to see if you can keep that promise...of not only delivering one orgasm..."_

He smiles confidently at her teasing challenge...rubbing himself carefully up and down her, as she tries to get him inside her...

" _Stop teasing me Rafael..."_ she likes how his name sounds on her tongue... _"Fuck me! Fuck me so I forget all about..."_

He cuts her off by grabbing her hips and sinking into her slowly...

As the head of his dick finally penetrates her, she gasps...

" _Am I hurting you?"_ he asks, immediately stopping...

She shakes her head vigorously...pulling at his suspenders...

" _I'm not missing a second of this..."_ he tells her as he denies her attempts to speed up...

He sinks himself into her slowly...feeding his dick in, little by little...

" _Oh god Liv!"_ he mutters _"You feel amazing..."_

" _Mmmmmmm"_ is all she can say in response...as she feels herself stretch around him...there is no pain, even though he is a large man...she couldn't have been any wetter, or more turned on...and she is luxuriating in the almost forgotten, sensations of being filled by a man she desires...

He continues to move into her slowly... barely withdrawing and pushing back into her...not wanting to hurt her and not wanting to leave the delicious feelings of her body being wrapped around him...

Both of their bodies are covered in a slight sheen of sweat, and his self control seems unyielding...but the tease becomes too much for her...and she pushes him away...following quickly...

Her hand in the center of his chest pushes him over to the couch, shoving him gently, to land on his ass in its middle...

The confusion on his face immediately vanishes as she straddles him, grasping his suspenders...

" _I told you I would use these to fuck you..."_ she purrs in his ear as she lowers herself back onto his hardness...he grasps her ass, helping to control her impalement...

They both moan as she drops down onto the base of his cock...he is completely inside her...

She pulls her legs up onto the couch, tucking them underneath her, using them to start to move up and down on his lap...rolling her hips against him every couple of strokes...playing with him...

As she rides him, rubbing her bouncing breasts up and down his chest, never letting go of the suspenders that have been the star of so many fantasies, he slips his hand in between them...his finger once more searching out her clit...

Every part of her body feels like it is burning as she feels him meeting her, thrust for thrust...she can already tell that this is going to be an orgasm to remember, as her body starts to move faster...no longer moving up and down, just rolling her hips into him, this movement stimulating every pleasure point she has...

Just as she begins to think it can't get any better, he tilts his hips slightly...she has no idea how he did it, or even what he did...but that's it!

" _Rafael!"_ she squeals...almost collapsing against him...

He continues with the same movements she had been using, pushing and pulling her hips to meet his movements...

He can hear her panting in his ear...

" _Uh...Uh...Uh..."_ she moans...and he can feel her tightening around his dick...her whole body seems to be tensing...

" _Ah...Ah..."_ the pitch of her moans changes slightly as she starts moving against him quickly, trying to speed him up...so he follows her lead, exaggerating every roll of his hips, pushing into her faster, every movement elongated...

" _Oh fuck...Oh fuck...Oh yes...fuck me...faster Rafael..."_ she starts to demand, all care about volume, long forgotten...

He takes her nipple into his mouth...sucking it tightly, flicking his tongue over it...as his finger mirrors his actions on her clit...

Her body shivers, and she drops onto him...impaling herself fully...even though she has stopped moving, his cock is being squeezed and released deliciously by her pulsing internal muscles...the vice becoming even tighter as she squeezes her legs together unconsciously...and he can no longer hold back...letting his own orgasm go...

After a few moments he can still feel small flutters in her internal muscles...

" _Liv.."_ he calls her softly... _"Liv...c'mon...I don't want you to be sore..."_ he says trying to lift her off his slowly shrinking dick...

" _I want to know this happened...I want to be able to feel it was real..."_ she mutters as he lifts her gently...

" _Trust me! It was very real!"_ he tells her as he disposes of the condom and pulls her down on the couch beside him... _"And I would love to replay it...any time!"_

 **A/N**

 **Thanks to elsamargarida, finnfreak7 and mitzi a jones for the follows, and again to mitzi a jones for the favourite! You're all such lovely people!**

 **BenoightLangson:Yeah I could see the chemistry between her and Hank alright...and if I can't have her with Barba I could go for Hank as second choice! Trevor...hmmmm...Yeah there is a little spark between her and Daddy Dodds but I nearly had a coronary at the start of the episode with the neglected kids, where her and Dodds were at a function...the idea of her going out with him was horrifying! Who knew there was worse to come? Stick with me on this...only one more chapter and I think it may make you laugh...! ;)**

 **elsamargarida: Hey! Always nice to hear from someone familiar on a new story...hope this gave you a laugh...the punchline is the last, next, chapter...**

 **mitzi a jones : It is weird! I'm glad you think its funny! The whole thing is a lead up the final chapter...chapter 4!**

 **Rossi's Lil Devil: Sooo did Barba sex-orcise the Tucker demons? Was it dirty enough for you? There had to be some typical Barba/Benson fighting for dominance and to win...? This whole idea was insanity brought on by Tuckson issues...**


	4. Fuck!

She is only beginning to wake up...and already she can feel...a dull ache between her legs...

' _It was real!'_ she thinks gleefully...reaching down, to feel her wetness immediately coat her fingers...

' _Oh yes!'_ she thinks, as she pulls her way out of slumber...already planning on a second round...maybe even a third...immediately confused to find herself in her bed, and not on the couch in her office with Rafael...

' _But I can feel something...'_ she reminds herself, when logic tries to deny her memory...her fingers grazing her clit...

She sinks back into the pillow as she realizes she is wet because of the dream...and the ache she can feel between her thighs is her unsatisfied need...

" _Fuck!"_ she says out loud! Her frustration taunting her mercilessly...

The dream is getting progressively more detailed, more involved, every time...the voices of her friends harder to ignore...

And why is Rafael always the one to...?

" _Uhhhhh"_ she groans, dragging herself upright...

" _Did you say something to me?"_ A voice says walking into the bedroom...

" _Ehm no...sorry Ed..."_ she answers, forcing herself to smile...not bothering to hide her pebbled nipples, or the clear arousal between her legs... Ed won't notice it anyway...

" _Just must have slept awkwardly..."_ she tells him, pulling down the shirt that has ridden up her body while she slept...

As she drags herself out of bed, heading towards the shower...she swallows another sigh, trying to deny her intense, sexual desire... _"I'm gonna take a long, hot, shower...try and release these tense muscles..."_

He just nods at her, telling her he'll probably be gone by the time she's done...walking over and kissing her forehead as you would kiss a child...

The sexless, passionless, kiss somehow, further reminds her body of what it craves, the ache between her legs deepening...

She steps under the steaming spray, her hands instinctively, immediately wandering her body...

Needing to calm the demands of her body ...she looks around the small bathroom, wishing she had more than just her fingers to salve her need for some sort of carnal release...She can't help thinking of the small stash of toys she has in the bedroom, bemoaning how Noah and Ed's presence, has left her very careful about where she hides them...

She can't help noticing the reminder of how different it was with previous boyfriends...how **they** would happily encourage her to enjoy her own body...how **they** would sometimes, plead to be allowed to watch her...how **they** would derive pleasure from just watching her climax...how **they** would incorporate the toys, once discovered, into their sex lives...how sometimes **they** would surprise her with a new present...or **their** imaginative use of what they she already had, in her own personal arsenal...

She has already tried to persuade Tucker to wrap some of her sex toys into their bedroom play...showing him a little bullet, a clit vibrator, that no man could ever feel intimidated by...telling him how it _'could help speed up getting her turned on'_ , carefully making it sound like the time it took **her** to be ready for **him** , was their difficulty...She had also shown him a small, slim, vibrating dildo, shyly suggesting she would enjoy him using it on her, while she took him in her mouth...but those, and any other similar suggestions, were quickly dismissed by the man, with a look that made her feel like a perverted, nymphomaniac.

She hates that his obvious disapproval has made her feel embarrassed and self conscious of her desires...

When she hears the front door shut, she turns off the shower quickly. There is still time before Noah wakes up...

She throws a dry towel on her bed...and lays down, pulling her favorite vibrator from the back of the drawer she hides it in ...

She looks at it carefully, trying not laugh as she imagines the expression on Tucker's face if he saw this... it is big and thick, with a large fake silicone mushroom head and a delicious little protrusion that stimulates her clit... **This** is a toy to intimidate even a well endowed and skilled lover...

She tries really hard not to allow her mind to query how many times she has thought of her ADA, while she happily writhed on this toy? Pushing away the comparison between dream Barba and the toy...desperately fighting, not to imagine, how the **real** man would compare?...

The thought has her squeezing her thighs together...

" _I have to stop this! Rafael Barba is not interested in me! I'm an adult, I need to stop fantasizing about a man who goes after everything he wants with such single-minded determination, but has barely opened the door of friendship to me..."_

But once more, her body reminds her of how neglected it has been...

' _This is ridiculous!'_ she tells herself, spreading her legs wide as she starts to masturbate... ' _the guy I'm seeing, has barely left my bed, and I'm lying here, fantasizing about the dream version of a colleague, trying to make myself cum, just so I can get set for the day...'_

She quickly pushes the thought from her head, she has barely touched herself and she is **so** ready for more...She teases herself quickly, rubbing the fake dick up and down her folds, as Barba had done in her dream; wondering if the man would be as assertive, and as skilled, in reality, as his confident and brazen, dreamy alter ego.

God, but dream Barba is so sexy, so hot...such a plausible extrapolation of his true character...if she ever managed to bed him, she is sure that it would be explosive...

Softly moaning, she slowly thrusts the thick toy inside herself...all the time, battling the longing that it really **was** Rafael pushing into her, just like she had momentarily allowed herself to believe he had...

When the dildo is inside her, and the clit stimulator lies against its intended target, she turns it on...allowing all thoughts to fade away as she relaxes...the long overlooked, pleasure centres of her body, immediately, buzzing to life...

It doesn't take long before her body is clutching tightly to the silicone wand...craving release...and then as her orgasm hits, she has to turn the strong vibration off, the muscles of her body continuing to move the tool inside her...

She falls back onto the pillow before she even removes the toy...luxuriating in the sensations...

It's enough to hold her over, but it's just not the same...she misses 'real sex'...and 'real orgasms'...

It's not even just the sex... **it's** just not...none of it is...

" _Huhhhhhh"_ she sighs out loud, pulling the toy out... _"I guess my subconscious may be trying to tell me something...I really need to get laid...and maybe it's time for Tucker to go?"_

 **A/N The end...I almost feel bad for poor Tucker now...ok, I lied! Thanks for sticking with my madness...**

 **BenoightLangson: I agree! The scenes with Daddy Dodds do have some chemistry...and we have been sorely deprived of Barba and Benson interaction in the last season! I know they have had a lot of arguments but they like to stand up to each other! I'm really evil but I cant abide Tuckson! I don't mind the character of Tucker but not as a boyfriend for Liv! I'd love to see him go, but I'm a bit worried about how low the writers could go to find her next appalling choice of man...**

 **Rossi's Lil Devil: If only that exorcised the Tucker craziness! Sorry, It's not deliberately four chapters, it just fell that way...lucky for us all, the anti tuckson rant that is this story, was curtailed!**

 **JenH: I'm glad it made you laugh...Gold star for you! And go to the top of the class! It was indeed a dream! Which is why I was able to get away with amp-ing up Barba and Liv...Nah there's no real, direct interaction between them in this story...but I am thinking about it now...;)**


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